Filters and Passwords
by Warfang
Summary: A humorous take on the JL being aware of fandoms, and Static discovering fandoms exist. Read the author's note, this was in jest! A poke!


I do not own Static Shock!

This is an idea that's floated around in my head for a while, without my being conscious of it in my own head. But just so you know, I do support yaoi, it's just in this case I poked fun at everyone and everything. Because really, if they could see what we did to them…. (MUWAHAHAHAAH. They couldn't do anything to stop it).

Enjoy.

"For crying out loud, Static, half the world knows Gear is a homosexual! Just because he doesn't out himself doesn't mean he's in the closet to protect you!"

"Protect me from what!"

Hot Streak and Static had been arguing in the main deck of the Watch Tower for fifteen minutes. Batman quietly motioned for the other Leaguers to leave, expecting the fall out.

At least this time there wouldn't be an outcry of Diana taking a swing at Superman over Batman. That had been fun to cover up.

"From the rabid fangirls, Static! Some people are real ass holes and treat any kind of affection outside the norm like some disease, and don't even bother to understand it. Hell, I bet your computer has a filter on it because Gear found them first."

"What is going on here?" Gear hissed to Batman. He leaves for ten minutes to get the fresh batch of nanites for Hot Streak, and he comes back to find his partner and his informant arguing.

Without someone breaking them up.

Something was off.

"It's the inevitable discovery of the fandoms." Batman replied. "It's better that they handle it now, in a controlled environment, even if they don't have the maturity for it."

Gear dropped the container. Flash picked it up and cradled it before the hand crafted robots could hit the floor.

"Okay, everyone's in the cafeteria, waiting to hear the results, and there's a betting pool already started." Flash reported. "What's with him?"

Gear let out an exhalation of breath.

"NO! DON'T!"

He sprinted up to Hot Streak.

"Ignorance is bliss! Hot Streak, it's not going to matter if he doesn't know, so let's leave it in the dark, okay?"

Hot Streak huffed and crossed his arms.

"Fine then. I saw them at a convention. You?"

"…I was surfing for some newspaper clippings for a current event report back in high school, and after I finished, I thought to look up some on Static and myself. Except it was my old computer in my room. The mouse jump, and instead of the newspaper article…." Gear trailed off, slightly cringing.

"I set up filters on any and all computers that Static had access to. I mean, I didn't realize what I was reading until I read that they had given my mom the blonde hair. And I didn't have a Dad. And I was late for tutoring in the upstairs room at a garage. That's when I realized I had either stumbled into an alternate reality journal, or someone was making up a story about me and Static. At first I thought it was cute, and then it became horrifying."

Hot Streak nodded in sympathy.

"I was passing a booth at a convention. There was a poster of you two suspended in flight, so I thought, 'what the hey' and went down that aisle. I'm never going to get those images out of my head. Urgh."

"Okay, what are you two talking about?" Static had folded his arms. Hot Streak and Gear were bonding over something, and he wanted in on it.

Oh, he should have been careful what he wished for.

"Can you override the security to bring up a mild photo of the thousands of us?" Hot Streak asked.

At Gear's horrified look, Hot Streak slapped his forehead.

"Not like that, you doofus!"

Clapping a hand over his mouth, Gear inhaled deeply for a few minutes. Then he turned to Batman.

"Think it'll be okay to drop the shields for a moment? Like you said, it is better he finds out now." Batman slowly nodded.

Walking over to the main controls, Gear entered his identification and began to bring up safety overrides.

"What are you guys making such a big fuss over?"

"A violation of privacy, if we didn't live in America." Hot Streak growled. "I mean, I get that they're not malicious, but seriously, there are some people out there that shouldn't draw. And then there are the ones that should draw more. I mean, Gear had to explain to me that a lot of that money goes to charity or shelters, or are for some good cause, like the local police, but _still_."

Static cocked his head toward Hot Streak.

"I remember you setting fire to a Cinema for showing only Battle Space or something because you thought it was criminally bad movie."

"It was, and it is." Batman intoned from behind him.

Surprised that the Dark Knight was agreeing, Static gave him a wide eyed look while Hot Streak smugly folded his arms.

"Okay, we have permission. And, Static, I am so sorry."

The pictures started popping up.

"What's so bad about this? I mean, some of them could use a couple art classes, but they're generally nice- Oh. My. God. Is- is that- are we- urlp."

Static made it to the trash can, mostly because he had a presence of mind to magnetize the can to him.

"Uh, that wasn't what I was expecting." Gear commented.

"What are you doing? Don't pause on it!" Hot Streak cried out, covering his eyes.

"Well, sorry. But doesn't she look a little too much like Sharon? I'm going to read the blurb." Gear announced that with a calm most announced about going into the lion's den.

"It can be worse?" Static gasped out.

"Well, in this, the two of you are just kissing in a lip lock with her arms over your shoulder and her foot popped, classic move. And you've got your clothes on." Gear scrolled down as Static retched again.

"Okay, this was totally an accident. No alarms, or relation to the real Sharon." Un-pausing the show, Gear stepped back.

"I'm going to need to upgrade those filters now." He muttered setting off to start a new line of code.

"Aaargh!"

"What?" Gear looked up at the affronted cry from Static.

"I do NOT look good in those colors!" Static cried, waving a hand at another frozen picture.

"…I agree." Hot Streak pronounced. "Fuchsia does not work with your complexion, especially outlined in sky blue."

"With sparkles." Gear tacked on. Not to mention that the human arm did not twist like that without being broken, and this Static had a wide grin on his face. Yeah, a few more years and they would improve much.

"But so far, did I leave a sub filter on? These aren't what I'm talking about." Gear mused aloud, setting up the new firewall.

"What could be worse!" Static cried out.

Finally, a picture of Gear and Static, or so the label claimed, dressed in civilian clothes, went past the screen. They were in a bed, gravitating to each other in an obvious fashion.

Static went quiet.

Gear did a silent countdown.

"Okay. So they're posting about our personal lives. So what? I mean, that isn't explicit or anything, right?" Static calmly released his breath.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed over or worked up about." He continued, starting to pace.

"Explicit Gear and Static." Announced the computer.

Gear covered his eyes.

Static made a strangled noise, then shot the off switch.

"Okay. Okay. I'm going to be…in…the counselor's room. Or my room. Okay." Moving jerkily, Static left the control deck and headed down the hall.

Hot Streak felt his mouth get closed by Batman.

"I'll set up the programs. You see to your partner."

Gear nodded, heading out after Static. Every hero had a fandom. Even Gear had some. And he was as next to incognito as Batman could make him while still using his talents to upgrade the Watch Tower.

….Also, Lex Luthor had made a pass to buy the young tech from Wayne Tech.

Hot Streak shook himself.

"Okay, urgh. That last photo…Are they really like that?"

Batman shrugged. "Fangirls latch onto the slightest indication to defend their One True Pairing as they call it. Be thankful you only torched Gear's shirt, otherwise there'd be more 'HotGear' as it's called."

Francis made a horrified face.

"But…in order for there to be a filter for that…that means….Gear…and I said earlier…"

Batman nodded.

Hot Streak slapped his face.

"I'm going to go hop in the tub. I'm burning up." Hot Streak re-attached his locator and left the main deck.

Flash sorted through the shown artwork. "Man, that is a small fandom. Guess that's what happens when you're from Dakota."

Batman shook his head.

Flash looked at him, straightening up.

"You mean…there's more?"

"None of it is centralized. From what I can tell, there are four different major sites involved. A referring site, dedicated to all things Static Shock, two writing sites, and an art site. Looking for things can be tricky if you don't have the write links."

"Do I want to know why you researched this?" Flash was giving Batman a worried look.

"Every fandom has a red flag program embedded into it. That way, I can track down if actual personal information is leaked. Say, the fact that Gear ran away from home. That's a red flag. Unfortunately, all kidnappings on his part are to be disavowed if I can confirm with his tracer where he is. He's kidnapped too often for it to qualify as a red flag. There's even a 'meme' that poses the question…. 'Gear is kidnapped, what do you do?'"

Flash shook his head.

"I thought he had issues when it came to not being the strongest or the fastest. I didn't realize it was princess syndrome."

Batman turned an icy look on Flash.

"What?"

"You do realize that if Gear was motivated beyond being Static's partner, there is potential to be another 'Batman', right?"

Flash thought for a moment. "Nah, Dakota's too bright. It's had a three day riot and another gang war. That's small time compared to other cities."

"And a big event for the people who live through them."

"I wasn't trying to be inconsiderate, just being perspective." Flash amended. He hated sounding defensive to the World's Greatest Detective.

"I know. But to Static and Gear, the Dakota riots are big time danger. You don't put major emphasis on guns because you can dodge the bullet. You remember that they're dangerous and have to be broken or dismantle because they pose a threat to the average person around you."

Flash opened his mouth, and then shut it. Batman didn't have any major powers beyond what he applied from his training and his dedication.

"So, what now?"

And neither did Gear.

"Now, we wait for them to come out of shell shock. More than likely, they'll decide to just ignore the fandoms. Like Hot Streak pointed out, these fantasies actually can raise money, and if handled politely, there are almost no volatile actions. Besides, we can't fund everything on our own."

Flash nodded, and then left to announce to the betters what the developments were so far.

* * *

><p>Hot Streak dunked himself under the water again.<p>

He never wanted to consider the blond geek as anything but his buyer and someone who provided him with a place to crash. It made work easier.

True, he was male, a hotty, and male, and still human, but kissing Gear?

He needed to come up with a reason to be disgusted, or not appealed, and fast.

Wonder Woman stepped into the room.

"Hot Streak!"

"GAH! Unless you want me streaking down the halls, lady, knock!" Hot Streak yelled back.

Wonder Woman walked over to the half opened partition.

"J'onn said it would help if you turned the fan on. It's the freaking jungle mist in here."

Hot Streak let out a dry rasp.

"Sorry. We stumbled across fandoms, and well, I bolted here and jumped in the water before I blew out a siding panel."

"Ah."

There are the muted clicks of high heels across the floor and then a switch is thrown. The steam in the room begins to physically move as it head to the ceiling.

"Are you going to be okay?" Wonder Woman asks bluntly.

"Ma'am, I honestly don't know. Ever since Gear started pumping me full of liquids on the idea I was cranky because I didn't drink enough fluids, I've been tolerable. But this…I almost want to be childish and just throw a few fireballs and flat out bitch at how unfair the world is."

Wonder Woman nodded. "I see. Take as long as you need. Just remember you go back before Static and Gear to keep suspicions down."

Hot Streak felt his brain stutter and die.

"That you're in cahoots."

"Oh, God, you're one of them." He groaned in horror.

Wonder Woman felt her mouth twitch.

"I'm from an island where men are considered outsiders. It wasn't that foreign a concept to me that they would find comfort in each other." Then she left.

Hot Streak dunked himself under the water, before adding more cold water.

* * *

><p>Static was stretched out on his bed.<p>

"Gear, how can they do that? I mean, how can they make you so aggressive?"

Gear slapped his face, before swatting Static to move over so he could sit on the bed too.

"I'm sorry, Static. When I found the fandoms, I decided to just block them and ignore them. I figured that they weren't actually doing any damage."

"Doing any damage? What were you thinking, Gear? It seems that everyone thinks I'm gay!"

"At least it isn't because you're associated with me! You're my friend, Static. And you are hopelessly heterosexual."

"Thanks, Gear."

"Hot Streak, on the other hand, may be bisexual."

Static groaned and buried his head back in his arms.

"Okay, Gear, answer me this. Why am I paired up with you nearly all the time?"

"Because some people prefer inter-team romance instead of you and Hot Streak getting it on?" Gear supplied. Static's head shot up.

"Ngh!"

"Sorry, man, sorry. Okay, despite you being hopelessly heterosexual, there are still some people that believe you and I will end up together. Maybe in a drunken one-night stand, maybe for life. But in the end, this is the one case where ignoring or denying your sexuality isn't the case. I mean, I've studied, to a point, these writers. If they don't like something, they change it. For good or for evil. But in the end, with you…they actually present a legal case. That you fall in love with me regardless of your sexual orientation. I believe it's when they say a person's name hyphen oriented, or something. The suggestion is that your type is something completely different, but for this one person you would fall in love with, even though they aren't your type, because they are just that special to you."

Static rolled over and looked at Gear.

"So, how many discoveries of these fandoms have led to awkward feelings?" Static queried, looking at Gear.

"If you're talking about a sudden revelation that you want to shack up with someone, it's always been there. You just weren't acknowledging it. I mean, there are some fanfics, as they are called, out there where the characters discover fanfiction of themselves and the 'love interest'," Gear signed air quotes, "that just happens to coincide with the writer's interests, instead of say the main pairing, whoever they are with in real life, or any other popular pairing. And it certainly does not account for how badly some stories are written, or what a page turner others are, or that some pairings do not need romantic love."

Gear stretched, standing up amd moving over before sinking into his chair. He wanted to see Static's expression without twisting his back.

"Also, Wonder Woman punched Superman over a certain fanfic that was falsified to look legit. She thought he and- ah, never mind. Gossiping over it is not something to be done in good taste. I think she's formed a support group, or at least someone you can talk to if you're feeling creeped out."

Static nodded.

"Yeah, I think I better do that. Can my Pops get clearance for being a councilor? Or maybe I can talk about this with whoever she's got set up. Speaking of which, where is Wonder Woman?"

Two brisk knocks sounded on the door.

"That would probably be her." Gear made a wave at the door, unlocking the pass and opening the door.

"I just left Hot Streak having a nervous breakdown in the men's room. How are you two holding up?"

Gear shrugged. "Fine. I mostly ignore this stuff, unless someone's a bit too close to the mark, in which case it'll be flagged and brought to my attention."

Static straightened up. He was in the presence of a lady, and his upbringing meant being on his best behavior.

"I'm not feeling so well. Gear mentioned a support group?"

Wonder Woman nodded.

"Exposure can produce anxiety, and even plant nasty ideas. I fell for one such experience, and was carried away emotionally. The group helps you think logically about what is real and what isn't. I can introduce you. But one rule we all adhere to- we don't tell others about the fandoms. Stopping from talking about it helps limit contact, which in turn cuts down on confusion. As it is, if you had discovered this before, how would you have handled it?"

Static shivered. "I'd have asked Gear to make a virus to shut down those sites. But Gear mentioned that some of those sites actually work for the same side we're on, so as long as the damage is contained, I guess there's no danger- well, active danger. Like putting a rubber coating on a live wire."

Wonder Woman inclined her head.

Leave to Static to find analogues that made sense to him.

"But I was wondering if my Pops could be my councilor. He already knows I'm Static, but not that I'm working with the League. And I take it that Hot Streak wasn't taken into consideration?"

Wonder Woman sighed. "I wish. We're understaffed and everyone's got anxiety from the fandoms. Basically we learn to ignore them, to focus on what we are meant to do. I do believe I can get your father the clearance he needs. If Gear is okay with injecting him with a sub-dermal locator, and he agrees, I don't see why not."

"Thanks." Static's face clears up since he had fought with Hot Streak, not even a half-hour ago.

Wonder Woman nodded once, and then left.

Gear gave Static a look.

"Good luck talking to Pops."

Static nodded. Still, aside from Gear, there wasn't anyone he would want to share his secrets with.

….well, share the knowledge of dozens of people fantasizing about his sex life with.

Static's head thunked back down to Gear's uproarious laughter.

Outside the door, Wonder Woman smirked.

"What's going on?" Superman asked. He had returned to find everyone in the cafeteria, passed Hot Streak making his way to his room looking like a wet mop, too wet to even steam, and now there was laughter coming from Gear's and Static's room.

He thought all the pranking was left to the Teen Titans.

Wonder Woman smirked.

"Oh, just the usual fandom exposure. At least this time, I'm not realizing you two aren't actually together."

Superman rolled his eyes. At least Wonder Woman hadn't unjustly punched him. She'd been holding back from Batman thinking that Superman was wrapped around his fingers. Now she was viciously courting the Dark Knight.

And Batman was starting to reciprocate in the romantic sense.

Then Wonder Woman's smirk turned absolutely devious.

"So, what did Lex want?"

"I was with Lois, for a date. Quite trying to set me up with that Xenophobic."

Nodding, Wonder Woman walked away.

"Damn fangirls…" Superman muttered, walking after her.

That was one invasion that no one seemed able to fight. And if you can't fight them…

….you join them.

* * *

><p>AN: Oh. My. Goodness. This has taken me nearly a week to write. I'll be editing and then posting. Just remember, while my OTP is HotGear, I do ship a well done Virgil/ Richie!

….also, who else noticed I never named the characters Richie, Francis, or Virgil, leaving the fact that this could be the super heroes (and ex-convicts) realizing the horrors of fandoms?

Ten pages, 3, 350 words! Oh, and the Lex Luthor comment was a reference to a picture by Shinju90 on deviantart. I just thought I'd credit, since it slipped in there.

EDIT, ahem, I mean, EPILOGUE

Hot Streak flopped down in his bed, before burrowing under the covers to dry off and be wrapped in a cocoon of warmth. He didn't need to eat in the cafeteria. He could just stay here, hidden, until the world came to get him in a few days to be dropped off in Dakota.

The door hissed opened.

"Time already?" Hot Streak called out.

"Actually, I forgot to give you your nanites from all of the drama. Sit up, please. Shot or swallow?"

"Swallow, and you know it. I hate needles." Hot Streak growled, sitting up in his bed. Richie poured out a clear solution with a glint in it.

"Try not to chew." He admonished, and handed the glass over.

Hot Streak downed the nanites in one go, wanting them to integrate and sync with the pre-existing nanites. He groaned as he remembered step two.

Leaving his warm nest, Hot Streak headed into the bathroom. When a new batch of nanites came in, the old, damaged ones had to leave.

It still felt weird.

Coming back out after washing his hands, Hot Streak paused to see Richie still there.

"Uhm, if you needed to examine them, they're in the plumbing."

"Huh? Oh, no, I was just thinking. Static, he's taking this rather well. I hope. I just wanted to check up on you."

"Check in on me? You're the one getting paired every which way. I highly doubt the pairings end at just me and Static."

Gear gave a reflexive shudder.

"So, you want to talk about it?" Hot Streak sat down on his bed, patting the space next to him. With a dejected look, Gear threw himself into the space, curling into the heat and started babbling.

Hot Streak stroked his head and made 'hmmm' noises now and then. Gear just needed to talk.

And maybe he would pay attention, for, warning signs and red flags that Gear wasn't quite up to normal standards. Not that he liked the blond.

At all.

* * *

><p>fin<p> 


End file.
